Did you ever think about being anxious and lonely as much as you do now? Were they not just some words? With the ongoing pandemic, haven’t they become the blaring reality of our world? And the ways we can hide from them is almost nil.
They hold myriad feelings and emotions. Often, they come and go, but sometimes they stay. Reappearing at a most inopportune time and making one feel almost crippled with the intensity they hit.
Fear is real, so is being anxious
Fear of losing a loved one, fear of dying, fear of getting infected, fear of isolation, fear of going to the hospital, fear for our family is a reality we live with every day.
This fear has gripped me in the middle of the night. I have woken up with not being able to breathe, heartache and this undefinable deep dark feeling in the pit of the stomach. It just doesn’t go away. You don’t want to talk about it. But you want this feeling to disappear, to be okay and to sleep peacefully. These are probably signs of an anxiety attack.
I have felt lonely at times like these. Wanting to hear a comforting voice, needing a big hug but just sitting there, battling with the dark thoughts, wanting to win this one for now. Loneliness is such a complicated state of being. One is among family but still feels lonely, someone in isolation is lonely.
Small ways to engage
Listening to what your heart and mind tell you, nudging yourself to smile, finding pleasure in mundane, reaching out and calling someone helps lift the focus off your anxiety and loneliness, at least for me.
Akhshay Gandhi’s Muted Performance on Anxiety and Loneliness on TabooDana on 22 May touched on so many of these aspects. Where words are not enough, he was able to say much much more without them.
We think this performance needs to be seen by all. Not only it can benefit us but also help us find resonance. It is thought-provoking, but soothing too. We are sharing the recording of his performance below. It is available for a limited time period.